Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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