I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
