i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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