my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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