I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my sisters under your porch take her home
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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