I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Dicks are not precious.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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