Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
