You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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