new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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