I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
