Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
These tits shall not be calmed
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
