coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
