I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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