next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
