We're like a lot better than the average bears
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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