The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
They have beer where we have blood.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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