No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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