can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
