real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
