Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
