she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
