My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
