You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
