I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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