You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
