love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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