what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
