Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
no you cant smoke seaweed
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
