1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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