Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
That's intense
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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