I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
