omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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