yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
