Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
