The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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