Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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