you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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