And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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