Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
