you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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