You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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