we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
These tits shall not be calmed
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
