Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
