Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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