I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Buhtt sex?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
