My hair reeks of homosexuality.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
