my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
