You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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