Kiss
Puke
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
