Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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